Jseawater
by Trivher
Summary: It's not a song-fic or a Romo-story :::gasp!::: Molly finds something strange on Fiona's computer and doesn't know what to do.
1. Teaser

Do I own them?  No.  Does Disney?  Yes.  Are we happy about that?  No.

Chapter 1 – 

                Have you ever tried to recover from a mistake you made in your life?  Tried to put  your life on track again?  It's not that easy.  It is possible with a lot of work and help of families and friends.  What if you had no support?  Or the ones that were there to push you along and to encourage you didn't realize how deep the pain went?  Screaming under water just gets water in your lungs.  Eventually you can't breath anymore.  Eventually you truly no longer care.


	2. Electricity

Chapter 2 – 

                "Fiona turn that computer off now!"  Molly calls in an overly strict motherly tone of voice from the kitchen table on the bus.  That was the third time in the last ten minutes she had instructed her daughter to turn off the machine.  It was too late for the child to be chatting or searching for information on the Loch Ness monster or whatever she did on it.  The bus was small and it was pretty easy to hear the consisted beeps to know Fiona still hadn't done as told.  Molly hated to get extremely parentish on her children, she liked to think of herself as an extremely laid back mother.  But this was getting ridiculous.

                Molly raises up from the table in a huff and walks towards to bedroom with the partially opened door.  Extends her arm and pushes it open without knocking or saying anything, prepared to start yelling.  Instead she just sighed and shook her head with a soft smile.  Fiona had fallen sleep at her desk yet again.  Molly realized she should of known that was reason of the consist ignoring of the threats she had made.  Tip toeing in the room being careful not to wake the child Molly enters fully into the room.  Gently manages to semi-left and half drag her daughter onto her bed without having her wake up in the process.

                Standing behind the chair setting in front of the desk Molly looks down at the lap top.  Trying to remember how to properly shut the stupid thing off.  It was moments like this she felt accident and not to mention an idiot.  Some many keys, some many of those little box thingies up.  Molly concerned just leaving the thing on for Fiona to take care of in the morning light.  That won't work though, not after Ned had given everyone a lecture earlier that day about using excess amounts of electricity.  They did seem to manage to use quite a bit of it.  The machine would have to be turned off.

                Deciding to get more comfortable Molly sits down on the metal chair, nearly screaming out at the cold feel to her bare legs.  She quickly recovers and starts to handle the situation that lies ahead of her.  Clicking on the first box, it's just of those advertisements that Fiona is constantly complaining about.  Well that's not important Molly thinks and clicks on the X button to get rid of it.  The next two boxes are also ads, no wonder Fiona was always pissed over about them.  Maybe this will be easier than I thought, Molly wonders.  The next one she opened had a picture of a bunch of leprechauns.  Typical Fiona behavior.  Figuring that she could easily be able to return to this page again Molly hits the X.  There was just one more program to close up.  It looked to be a chat or that instant gab thing.  

                Far as Molly could tell no one was there anymore.  If they were no one had said anything for awhile.  She recognized Tad's screen name, she could never understand what her daughter liked so much about that man.  Candy, Gabe, and Ryan were there as well.  There was one screen name that Molly didn't remember seeing before.  Jseawater.  It really wasn't any of Molly's business.  Both her kids were smart and responsible and won't talk to complete strangers in person or over the net.  On the other hand both of the kids kept their own little secrets, not detailing every aspect of their lives to their mother.  It was important.  It was known of her business.  Still Molly was human and humans are very curious creatures.  Who did Fiona know that liked seawater?  Or lived near the water?  She couldn't think of anybody.  Stop it! Just shut the thing down and forget about it.

                Molly positions the little white arrow on top of the x.  Brings her finger up slightly prepared click down on the button to close it up so she could finally finish shutting the machine off and go to bed.  Suddenly Molly sees the screen slightly well it seemed as if not everyone was asleep after all.  The mysterious Jseawater person was chatting away.  Molly wasn't sure what to do.  Ignore him or her?  Say that Fiona is unavailable to try again in a few hours?  Just pretend she was Fi?  All three scenarios had negative and positive reasons to use or not use them.  Glancing at the screen again it was apparent that Jseawater wasn't waiting for a response to anything that he or she was typing down.  It was almost as if they were holding a conversation with themselves.  Molly didn't mean to read the screen.  It really wasn't any of her concern.  But still she just couldn't help it.


	3. Substance Abuse

Chapter 3 – 

Jseawater: I tried to go to one of their support meetings.

Jseawater: Where everyone is like, "Oh it's not your fault!" And everyone tries to hug you.

Jseawater: But what I think is the absolute worse thing is the God factor that try to push on everyone.

Jseawater: Phtt! :-P

                Molly never felt more confused and also worried in her life.  Why was her only daughter talking to someone who had some kind problems maybe with substance abused?  It was obvious whoever this person was they were an adult with unsetting life.  Molly didn't want Fiona talking to anyone like this.  Sure everyone deserves a chance, not to be judged and other sweet little love your neighbor sayings.  But not when it was her daughter doing it!  Oh the lovely second standard of parenting.  Molly again was torn on what steps to take.  She wanted to know who in the hell this person was and why they had befriended her daughter.  Her mind now racing away with images of stalkers and the evening news reports of young girls being killed by internet buddies.  On the other hand Tad was an older adult and was perfectly harmless, yet Molly actually knew him.

Jseawater: I'm not sure if it's worth it.

Jseawater: I keep on thinking I'm walking in circles.

Jseawater: I always collide into the "problem" again and again.

Jseawater: What should I do?

                That was the first time they had asked a question and they seemed to be waiting for a response.  Molly wanted to scream and pull her hair out in clumps.  Just ignore whoever it is.  They'll get the hint.  Don't do anything stupid.  Molly kept on telling herself.  Yes just get up and leave now, Ned is an understanding person he'll be ok with the excess amount of electricity used tonight.  And when Fiona wakes up she'll be doing a lot of explaining of her chatting buddies.  Still Molly wasn't completely satisfied with the plan she had come up with.  The wanting to be motherly and help somebody in pain factor started to take over.

Jseawater: You there?

Jseawater: Hullo?

                It was really has if something had possessed her body and she hovered above and watched, as she started to hit the keys.

Rockerbaby: Yes I'm here.

                Molly aboustly couldn't believe she was doing this.  She felt a shamed.  Knew Fiona would be furious and accuse her of not trusting her daughter.  Molly didn't.  Only a bad parent that doesn't care about their children will completely and blind trust their offspring.  Still the children aren't actually suppose to discover how deep their parents concerns can be.

Jseawater: Good to know.

Jseawater: What do you think?

                Molly really wished as if she had thought over a response to Jseawater's troubles and have it sound half way intelligent and more importantly be able to play it off like she understood everything.  Of all the stupid things to do this took the cake.  But she couldn't back out now.

Rockerbaby: I'm really not sure.

                Well it was the truth and a Fi sounding response.

Jseawater: Me as well.  Me as well.

Jseawater: I'm royally fucked up now aren't I?

Rockerbaby: No not at all.

                For all Molly knew he or she could just what they claimed themselves to be if not even worse.  Still no one likes to hear or in this case see someone agree on a statement such as that.

Rockerbaby: We all go through our rough patches.  Lord knows I have more than enough to mention.

                Oh shit.  Suddenly the theory of just pretending to be Fiona was disappearing with every word typed.  Fiona didn't have a world full of heart aches.

Jseawater: I doubt that.  Your young and have barley entered the "real world"

Jseawater: You need to realize everything can seem so unfair right now, but with age you'll learn those problems are just pity and not worth of fretting over.

                Good advice.  Molly hated to admitted but so far this person hadn't said or done anything questionable that she won't want her daughter exposed to.  Maybe the paranoia was becoming just a bit too much.  I have to get out of here.  She thinks.  She was completely clueless of how exactly.

Rockerbaby: It's getting late and I'm pretty tired.

                Well that was easy enough.  Molly thinks with a satisfied smirk.

Jseawater: You know what?

Rockerbaby: What's that?

Jseawater: I'm just going to stop it.  All of it.

Rockerbaby: Um ok.

                Right now would be an especially wonderful time to know what in the hell they were talking about!

Jseawater: I just miss it some much.  I have tried.  I really have.

                Miss what!?  Molly was in hell right now.  The only she could think of one thing, the same thing as earlier, drugs.  What else could explain them declaring they would stop and missing it?  Obviously they understand they have a  problem but has tried getting help and understands the difficulty of it.  That had to be what it was.  It was the only logical explationation.

Rockerbaby: I know it will be ok.  Just keep on trying.

Jseawater: Sure whatever you say.

Jseawater: Well I shall let you go.

Rockerbaby: Ok.

Jseawater: Oh and tell Molly it's not her fault.

                Wait what!?  How did this person know me!?  She thinks to herself.  And what's not my fault!?  Molly couldn't ask, because a message popped up on the screen stating Jseawater has left the chat room.  Molly sighs and finally shuts the machine down completely.  Quietly raises from the chair and out the room without distributing Fiona who hadn't moved since being tossed on to the bed.  Molly enters the common room and lays down on the couch, shutting her eyes to enter the sleeping world.  She couldn't stop thinking about Jseawater. It was going to be a long night.


	4. Advice

Chapter 4 

                Molly awoke to the sound of Jack and Carey arguing over we got the last swallow of orange juice.  No matter how much of foods and drinks they seemed to buy they never lasted more then three days.  She had no idea where they were, how many states they had went through during her slumber.  Her next show was scheduled in two days from now in Tennessee at another small club venue.  Molly won't have it any other way.  As she laid there with her eyes closed in hopes everyone would assume she was still sleep, and observed the world around her.

                The argument over the juice had been settled.  Carey got it.  Being the oldest sometimes had its advantages.  Irene was up in the cab talking with her husband.  Little insonicant stuff that only they would really care about.  Seeing them often made Molly miss Rick even more.  Or just the feeling of love.  She still hadn't heard anything from Fiona.  Properly still asleep.  Molly didn't know at what point to bring up Jseawater.  If at all.  She would just play it by ear.

                "Morning mom."  Molly opens her eyes slowly to see Jack standing beside her grinning like a five year old of Halloween.

                "Morning sweetie."  He smiled again before turning back to return to the table. No doubt to fight Carey over another breakfast food.  Well I might as well get up, Molly thinks while sitting up.  

                "Hey Molly!"  Ned calls out from behind the wheel, not looking up.  Molly was glad of that.  Even though she missed Rick she wasn't ready to meet up with him at quite this moment.

                "Hey Ned, Irene.  So where are we?"  She asks while walking over to them. 

                "Arkansas, about 2 hours from the border."  Irene answers.

                "Sleep well?"  Ned inquires. 

                "Well sort of.  I encountered a pretty weird situation of Fi's laptop last night.  And I had trouble sleeping because of that."  Molly couldn't help but to laugh at the look on both their faces.  A mixture of shock and wanting to burst out with laughter.

                "Molls did you just use the words 'pretty weird' and 'laptop'?!"  Ned asks the question both him and Irene were wondering.

                "Why yes I did."  She answers while contuning to laugh.  Catching Carey and Jack's attention, but they don't walk over, deciding it was an "adult" thing.  Molly wasn't sure how much to tell the Bells.  She would to get their advice, but another part of her was nervous of what their reaction could be.  Would they understand her reasoning's her pretending she was Fi?  Would they think she didn't do enough?  Molly still found it amazing even in forties she still worried of what her peers thought.

                "What happened?  Or do we have to guess?"

                "No Ned you don't have to guess, even though that could be quite entertaining.  Do either of you know who Jseawater is?"  By the blank stares of their faces Molly had her answer.

                "Someone who had extremely cruel parents?"  Irene answers.

                "Yeah that's coming from someone who named her son Cluette."  Molly responses with a friendly smile.

                "It's a family name!"  Ned fires back trying not to grin but doesn't succeed.  Coming from the back of the bus Molly heard sounds of doors opening and closing.  Along with water started to run on and off.  About the amount that's needed to brush your teeth and wash your face.  Fiona was awake.  It had to be her.  Molly would have to get the story out quickly before she came into hear shot of the adults.

                "I was turning Fi's laptop off last night and she had been chatting with some person named Jseawater.  I recognized all of her other friends user names but not that one.  Any ideas?"

                "Maybe I'm missing something here Molly but what's so strange about that?"

                "Yeah Fi makes friends easily it's properly someone that posted a message on that web page of hers."  Ned says and Irene continued on with.

                "I thought of that too, but after talking to him or her I—"

                "Whoa hold on!  You did what?"  They both hiss at around the same moment.  Molly was afraid this was going to happen.  Too late to stop the story now.

                "Well whoever it was started chatting and I just couldn't help myself."

                "What did they say?"  Molly starts to recite the chat with the best of her ability from her memory.  What was said.  Her thoughts after each statement.  Ned and Irene just listened intently occasionally humming or nodding their ends.

                "What do you think?"  She asks when the tale is finished.

                "Ask Fiona about it."  They both reply without batting an eyelash.

                "But she'll think I don't trust her."

                "Well you don't have to tell her you chatted with the person.  Plus she'll get over it."  Ned says in his no nonsense tone.  Right at the moment from the corner of her eye Molly sees Fiona enter the room.  Taking a breath of courage Molly raises from her seat and walks towards her. It was now or never.


	5. Cell Phone

Chapter 5 – 

                "Who's Jseawater?"  Molly blurted surprising herself with her pushy and forward approach.  It just came out.

                "Excuse me?"  Fiona responds already preparing to get on the defensive.

                "On you computer last night you were talking to someone called Jseawater, who is it?"

                "I don't see why it's any of your business!"  Molly looked at Fiona her daughter while the words she's your daughter don't kill her raced in her head.

                "It is my business Fi.  I don't feel comfortable you talking to strangers need it be ones face to face or the web.  There are twisted people out there."

                "You never cared before."  Fiona mumbles under her breath, but not under enough.

                "You know that's not true baby.  I have always cared and will forever care about you."  Molly was taken a back by Fi's reaction it really didn't make any sense, or least it didn't apply to their family.  She kept in mind that Fiona was upset over her privacy being invaded and was lashing out because of that.

                "It doesn't matter."  Fiona tells her mother.

                "What doesn't matter?"

                "Who I was talking to.  It wasn't a stranger.  So I wasn't talking to some psycho killer with a taste for young girls with rock star mothers."  Molly knew it had been someone they knew the family in at least some degree to be able to mention her name.  Of course she had to be careful how she presented that information, if at all.  This conversation was quickly causing Molly to dig her nails into the back of hand with frustration.  Teenagers!

                "Fiona I'm not going to ask you again who is it!?"  The friendly approach was obviously not working; it was time to get tough.

                "Papa Bear."  Molly's eyes flew out of their sockets, her mouth reached her shoes.  John!?  All of her questions became magidified.  What was wrong with him?  She never knew he had a substances problem.  What if it wasn't a substances problem but something worse?  Why was he talking to her daughter?  Why Fi was keeping it such a big secret?  Fiona just stood there watching her mother trying to figure out what she was thinking.  She had never promised not to tell her about the chats.  She had just wanted to keep it secret for some reason.  What's the big deal!?  He was practically my second father when I was younger!  I am allowed to talk to the man.  She thinks to herself getting angrier by the second. 

                Jack came out from his bedroom holding a folder full of his school papers ready to tackle algebra equations and the effects of the Cold War.  There was a strong and negative vibe through out the room.  His mom and sister looked almost demonic maybe like pissed off.  Irene and Ned were trying to act like they had been listening, but it was clear they had heard everything by the embarrassed looks on their faces.  Something was definitely wrong here.  He opened his mouth to ask what that something was, but was interrupted by the rings of the cell phone.  It continued to ring, no one making a move towards it, like they were unable to even hear it.  For Irene that was completely beyond belief.

                "I'll get it."  Jack annocounces while picking the red colored phone off the counter.

                "Hello?"  He asks once it is against his ear.

                "This is the San Francisco police department may I please speak with Molly Phillips?"  A woman answers him.  He had excepting Clu, one of the band or roadies, a wrong number, anything in the world but that.  No every excepts to receive a phone call like that.  By that point everyone had snapped out of trances of frustration and confusion and watched Jack with the phone, waiting to know who it was and who for.

                "Just one moment please."  Jack finally replies reazing he had let too much time pass without answering the question.  Pulling the phone down away from his face he looks up at his mom.

                "It's for you.  The San Francisco police."  He speaks, Molly's face going pale with fear and anxiety.  She takes the cell phone from Jack's out stretched arm.  Everyone stares at are the same fear and confusing racing through their heads as well.  Ned takes a sudden exit figuring if something was wrong being on a highway going 70 miles an hour won't be the best place to be.  In a matter of moments the bus is parked at an empty Dairy Queen parking lot.  Molly had no idea what the phone call was about.  All she had said was that she was Molly Phillips and was told to hold for a moment.  It was quickly becoming many moments.  Which made the fear and what ifs race even faster inside her mind.

                "Mrs. Phillips?"  A voice different from the initial one asks.

                "Yes?"  She speaks up in a barely a whisper.  Too scared of what else could come out with the words.

                "Do you know a John Kane?"  She was too shocked to think of anything.

                "Yes I do."

                "I'm sorry to inform you he died earlier this morning."  


	6. Aftermath

Chapter –6 

                It was ruled as a suicide, a self inflicted gun shot to the head.  At approximately 10:43 pacific coast time.  Only five minutes after he had left the chat room with Molly/Fiona.  It wasn't support meetings for drug or excessive use of alcohols.  He was depressed, suicidal, living on the edge of the world any moment prepared to fall in either direction.  Unfortunately in the eyes of the ones that cared about him the most he made the fall in the wrong direction.

Molly curled herself up into a small ball on the loveseat sitting in front of the window.  The funeral was very emotionally draining for everyone, but especially her.  John had been her husbands best friend, her close convided as well, with him around Rick didn't feel so lost.  Now he was gone as well.  Molly blamed herself for that.  Now all the signs and hints dealing with the chat was crystal clear.  Molly couldn't forgive herself for being unable to forgive it out sooner.  Jseawater, J for John Seawater because he lived on the coast.  He knew Molly by name and many other little hints that must would never pick up on.  But Molly did she was obsessed about it, not allowing who to consul her grieve.  John was all she had left from that chapter of her life.

                Fiona couldn't stop crying in the shock of her Papa Bear's death.  It was her fault he died.  She just had to be mature and act grown up not noticing that their chats shouldn't be kept secret.  That he didn't help, someone with more experience with depression to help me cope.  Fiona wanted to run to the police and insist she be arrested for assisted murder.  It wasn't fair!  Fiona could see the pain in her mother's eyes.  Pain that Fiona was certain she had caused.

                A week past since the funeral and then another and before anyone knew it had been 17 days since hell opened up and swallowed them whole.  It was starting to become easy in some ways, in others the hurt was still fresh and not fading away.  Even though it was often months between any of them hearing from him, and he further apart from actually seeing him it was still a dramatic blow.  Depression over the fact he lost the ability to play the guitar was what did him in.  John tried to find other interests to pursue like he had with music.  Nothing was the same, nothing filled the gap.  Molly was now beating herself up internally for not staying with him after the last visit and working with him until it came back.  She didn't even know if it was possible for it to return, but I could of least tried, was her feelings on the matter.  

                It was too late.  And time could never put be moved backwards.  They'd have to see through the pain, guilt, anger, and a thousand other emotions and just get on with life.  No matter how hard it would be.


End file.
